Bush on Iraq - the translation

Good evening. Tonight in Iraq, the armed forces of the United States are engaged in a struggle that will determine the direction of the global war on terror - and our safety here at home. The new strategy I outline tonight will change America's course in Iraq, and help us succeed in the fight against terror.

Yee-haw! Tonight in Iraq, your kids, your spouses, your parents are engaged in a civil war that will determine the direction of Iraqi oil - and the wealth of a certain 1000 US citizens. The new strategy I outline tonight will boost the death toll in Iraq, and help us become even more hated by the rest of the world —if that's possible.

When I addressed you just over a year ago, nearly 12 million Iraqis had cast their ballots for a unified and democratic nation. The elections of 2005 were a stunning achievement. We thought that these elections would bring the Iraqis together - and that as we trained Iraqi security forces, we could accomplish our mission with fewer American troops.

When I addressed you just over a year ago, nearly 500 thousand Iraqis had already been killed. The massacres of 2005 were a stunning achievement. We thought that these deaths would bring the Iraqi oil to certain US companies - and that as we trained Iraqi security forces, we could kill more Iraqis with fewer American troops.

But in 2006, the opposite happened. The violence in Iraq - particularly in Baghdad - overwhelmed the political gains the Iraqis had made. Al Qaeda terrorists and Sunni insurgents recognized the mortal danger that Iraq's elections posed for their cause. And they responded with outrageous acts of murder aimed at innocent Iraqis.

But in 2006, the opposite happened. The violence in Iraq - particularly in Baghdad - overwhelmed the political and financial gains we had made. People who have nothing to do with Al Qaeda terrorists and Sunni Iraqis recognized the mortal danger that the New American Century posed for their future. And they responded with raging acts of resistance aimed at your innocent kids, your spouses, your parents.

They blew up one of the holiest shrines in Shia Islam - the Golden Mosque of Samarra - in a calculated effort to provoke Iraq's Shia population to retaliate. Their strategy worked. Radical Shia elements, some supported by Iran, formed death squads. And the result was a vicious cycle of sectarian violence that continues today.

The CIA, with help from Mossad, blew up one of the holiest shrines in Shia Islam - the Golden Mosque of Samarra - in a calculated effort to provoke Iraq's Shia population to retaliate. Our strategy worked. Radical Shia elements, some supported by Iran, formed death squads. And the result was a vicious rise in the civil war that continues today.

The situation in Iraq is unacceptable to the American people - and it is unacceptable to me. Our troops in Iraq have fought bravely. They have done everything we have asked them to do. Where mistakes have been made, the responsibility rests with me.

The situation of the US troops in Iraq is unacceptable to the American people - and I don't give a damn. Our troops in Iraq have died bravely. They have done everything we have asked them to do. Where mistakes have been made, the responsibility rests with me —and you can't do anything about it, ha ha!

It is clear that we need to change our strategy in Iraq. So my national security team, military commanders, and diplomats conducted a comprehensive review. We consulted members of Congress from both parties, our allies abroad, and distinguished outside experts. We benefited from the thoughtful recommendations of the Iraq Study Group - a bipartisan panel led by former Secretary of State James Baker and former Congressman Lee Hamilton. In our discussions, we all agreed that there is no magic formula for success in Iraq. And one message came through loud and clear: Failure in Iraq would be a disaster for the United States.

People keep telling me that we need to change our strategy in Iraq. Even my national security team, military commanders, and diplomats who conducted a comprehensive review. We consulted members of Congress from both parties, our lapdogs abroad, and distinguished outside experts. We benefited from the thoughtful recommendations of the Iraq Study Group - a bipartisan panel whose mission was to seed your minds and grant us the freedom to take the war to the next level, led by former Secretary of State James Baker and former Congressman Lee Hamilton. In the mainstream media, we sold you the idea that there is no magic formula for success in Iraq. And we imprinted one message in your minds: Failure in Iraq would be a disaster for the United States.

The consequences of failure are clear: Radical Islamic extremists would grow in strength and gain new recruits. They would be in a better position to topple moderate governments, create chaos in the region, and use oil revenues to fund their ambitions. Iran would be emboldened in its pursuit of nuclear weapons. Our enemies would have a safe haven from which to plan and launch attacks on the American people. On September the 11th, 2001, we saw what a refuge for extremists on the other side of the world could bring to the streets of our own cities. For the safety of our people, America must succeed in Iraq.

What we mean by failure is clear: Radical Islamic extremists would grow in strength and gain new recruits. They would be in a better position to topple American forces, create stability in the region, and use oil revenues to fund their ambitions, instead of ours. Iran would be emboldened in its pursuit of nuclear weapons. Our enemies would have a safe haven from which to plan and launch attacks on the New American Century. On September the 11th, 2001, we set up extremists on the other side of the world at the expense of our own people. For the safety of a certain 1000 Americans, America must succeed in Iraq.

The most urgent priority for success in Iraq is security, especially in Baghdad. Eighty percent of Iraq's sectarian violence occurs within 30 miles of the capital. This violence is splitting Baghdad into sectarian enclaves, and shaking the confidence of all Iraqis. Only the Iraqis can end the sectarian violence and secure their people. And their government has put forward an aggressive plan to do it.

The most urgent priority for success in Iraq is security, especially in Baghdad. Eighty percent of Iraq's civil war occurs within 30 miles of the capital. This violence is splitting Baghdad into sectarian enclaves exactly as we planned, and hopefully shaking the confidence of all Iraqis. Only the Iraqis who can still think properly can end the US invasion and secure their motherland. And their government has put forward an aggressive plan to either arrest or assassinate such Iraqi leaders.

Our past efforts to secure Baghdad failed for two principal reasons: There were not enough Iraqi and American troops to secure neighborhoods that had been cleared of terrorists and insurgents, and there were too many restrictions on the troops we did have. Our military commanders reviewed the new Iraqi plan to ensure that it addressed these mistakes. They report that it does. They also report that this plan can work.

Our past efforts to seize Baghdad failed for two principal reasons: There were not enough bribed Iraqi policemen and American troops to secure neighborhoods that had been cleared of the resistance, and there were too many humanly creatures among the troops we did have who refused to kill every single civilian out there. Our military commanders reviewed the new Iraqi plan to ensure that it addressed these mistakes. They report that it does. They also report that this plan can work. Not with a high probability, but who cares, I love to gamble.

Now, let me explain the main elements of this effort. The Iraqi government will appoint a military commander and two deputy commanders for their capital. The Iraqi government will deploy Iraqi army and national police brigades across Baghdad's nine districts. When these forces are fully deployed, there will be 18 Iraqi army and national police brigades committed to this effort, along with local police. These Iraqi forces will operate from local police stations; conducting patrols and setting up checkpoints and going door-to-door to gain the trust of Baghdad residents.

Now, let me explain the main elements of this gamble. The Iraqi government will appoint a military commander and two deputy commanders for their capital. The Iraqi government will deploy Iraqi army and national police brigades across Baghdad's nine districts. When these forces are fully deployed, there will be 18 Iraqi army and national police brigades committed to this effort, along with local police. These Iraqi forces will operate from local police stations; conducting patrols and setting up checkpoints and going door-to-door to gain the trust of Baghdad residents. The plan is, hopefully, unsuspecting civilians will finally fall for it, thinking that these greedy mercenaries of the puppet Iraqi government are actually protecting them. Ha ha!

This is a strong commitment. But for it to succeed, our commanders say the Iraqis will need our help. So America will change our strategy to help the Iraqis carry out their campaign to put down sectarian violence and bring security to the people of Baghdad. This will require increasing American force levels. So I've committed more than 20,000 additional American troops to Iraq.

This is a big gamble. But for it to succeed, our commanders say the Iraqi puppets will need our help. So America will change our strategy to help the Iraqis carry out their campaign to put down all resistance and scare the shit out of the people of Baghdad. This will require increasing American force levels. So I've raised the bet by 20,000 additional American youngsters on the ante.

The vast majority of them -- five brigades -- will be deployed to Baghdad. These troops will work alongside Iraqi units and be embedded in their formations. Our troops will have a well-defined mission: to help Iraqis clear and secure neighborhoods, to help them protect the local population, and to help ensure that the Iraqi forces left behind are capable of providing the security that Baghdad needs.

The vast majority of these clueless American kids -- five brigades -- will be deployed to Baghdad. These troops will die alongside Iraqi mercenaries and be hated by the civilians just as much. Our troops will have a well-defined mission: to help Iraqi mercenaries exert martial law in the neighborhoods, to help them abolish the local population, and to help ensure that the Iraqi people left alive are not capable of providing the security that Baghdad needs.

Many listening tonight will ask why this effort will succeed when previous operations to secure Baghdad did not. Well, here are the differences: In earlier operations, Iraqi and American forces cleared many neighborhoods of terrorists and insurgents - but when our forces moved on to other targets, the killers returned. This time, we will have the force levels we need to hold the areas that have been cleared. In earlier operations, political and sectarian interference prevented Iraqi and American forces from going into neighborhoods that are home to those fueling the sectarian violence. This time, Iraqi and American forces will have a green light to enter these neighborhoods - and Prime Minister Maliki has pledged that political or sectarian interference will not be tolerated.

Many listening tonight will ask why this effort will succeed when previous operations to secure Baghdad did not. Well, here are the differences: In earlier operations, Iraqi collaborators and American forces cleared many neighborhoods of men capable of resisting - but when our forces moved on to other targets, the women and the children continued the resistance. This time, we will have the force levels we need to completely annihilate those bitches and bastards. In earlier operations, political and international interference prevented Iraqi butchers and American forces from going into neighborhoods that are home to those who still dream of stopping the US invasion. This time, Iraqi and American forces will have a green light to enter these neighborhoods - and Prime Minister Maliki has been bought and pledged that political or international interference will not be tolerated.

I have made it clear to the prime minister and Iraq's other leaders that America's commitment is not open-ended. If the Iraqi government does not follow through on its promises, it will lose the support of the American people - and it will lose the support of the Iraqi people. Now is the time to act. The prime minister understands this. Here is what he told his people just last week: "The Baghdad security plan will not provide a safe haven for any outlaws, regardless of [their] sectarian or political affiliation."

I have made it clear to the prime minister and Iraq's other leaders that America's bribes are not open-ended. If the Iraqi government does not follow through on its promises, it will lose the flow of the American dollars - and they will eventually all be hanged by the Iraqi people. Now is the time to act. The prime minister understands this. Here is what he told his people just last week: "The Baghdad security plan will not provide a safe haven for any outlaws, regardless of [their] sectarian or political affiliation." Ha, ha, isn't he a nice puppy.

This new strategy will not yield an immediate end to suicide bombings, assassinations, or IED attacks. Our enemies in Iraq will make every effort to ensure that our television screens are filled with images of death and suffering. Yet, over time, we can expect to see Iraqi troops chasing down murderers, fewer brazen acts of terror, and growing trust and cooperation from Baghdad's residents. When this happens, daily life will improve, Iraqis will gain confidence in their leaders, and the government will have the breathing space it needs to make progress in other critical areas. Most of Iraq's Sunni and Shia want to live together in peace. And reducing the violence in Baghdad will help make reconciliation possible.

This new strategy will not yield an immediate end to suicide bombings, assassinations, or IED attacks. Our allies in Iraq will make every effort to ensure that our and their television screens are filled with images of death and suffering. And, over time, we can expect to see Iraqi people finally surrender, fewer patriotic acts of resistance, and the loss of all hope among Baghdad's residents. When this happens, daily life will cease to exist, Iraqis will lose confidence in their God, and the government will have the breathing space it needs to make progress in other critical areas. Most of Iraq's Sunni and Shia want to live together in peace. And killing all such people in Baghdad will help sustain the instability.

A successful strategy for Iraq goes beyond military operations. Ordinary Iraqi citizens must see that military operations are accompanied by visible improvements in their neighborhoods and communities. So America will hold the Iraqi government to the benchmarks it has announced.

A successful strategy for Iraq goes beyond military operations. Ordinary Iraqi citizens must see that military operations are accompanied by a visible increase in poverty in their neighborhoods and communities. So America will hold the Iraqi government to the benchmarks it has announced.

To establish its authority, the Iraqi government plans to take responsibility for security in all of Iraq's provinces by November. To give every Iraqi citizen a stake in the country's economy, Iraq will pass legislation to share oil revenues among all Iraqis. To show that it is committed to delivering a better life, the Iraqi government will spend $10 billion of its own money on reconstruction and infrastructure projects that will create new jobs. To empower local leaders, Iraqis plan to hold provincial elections later this year. And to allow more Iraqis to re-enter their nation's political life, the government will reform de-Baathification laws and establish a fair process for considering amendments to Iraq's constitution.

To establish its authority, the Iraqi government plans to take responsibility for security in all of American assets in Iraq by November. To give every Iraqi citizen a stake in the ass, Iraq will pass legislation to share oil revenues among all the companies sponsoring my next election campaign. To show that it is committed to delivering a better life to a certain 1000 American citizens, the Iraqi government will spend $10 billion of its own money on reconstruction and infrastructure projects that will create new markets for American companies. To silence local leaders, Iraqis plan to hold make-believe elections later this year, Florida style. And to prevent more Iraqis from trying to re-enter their nation's political life, the government will reform de-Baathification laws and establish a funky process for considering amendments to Iraq's American constitution.

America will change our approach to help the Iraqi government as it works to meet these benchmarks. In keeping with the recommendations of the Iraq Study Group, we will increase the embedding of American advisers in Iraqi army units, and partner a coalition brigade with every Iraqi army division.

America will change our approach to help the puppet Iraqi government as it works to meet these benchmarks. In keeping with the recommendations of the Iraq Study Group, we will increase the embedding of American kids in Iraqi army units, and partner a coalition brigade with every Iraqi army division. We have plenty of kids here anyway.

We will help the Iraqis build a larger and better-equipped army, and we will accelerate the training of Iraqi forces, which remains the essential U.S. security mission in Iraq. We will give our commanders and civilians greater flexibility to spend funds for economic assistance. We will double the number of Provincial Reconstruction Teams. These teams bring together military and civilian experts to help local Iraqi communities pursue reconciliation, strengthen the moderates and speed the transition to Iraqi self-reliance. And Secretary Rice will soon appoint a reconstruction coordinator in Baghdad to ensure better results for economic assistance being spent in Iraq.

We will help the Iraqis build a larger and better-equipped army, and we will accelerate the training of Iraqi forces, which remains the essential U.S. security mission in Iraq. We will give our commanders and civilians greater flexibility to spend funds for economic assistance. We will double the number of Provincial Reconstruction Teams. These teams bring together military and civilian experts to help local Iraqi communities digest the New American Century, strengthen the moderates and speed the transition to the American Republic of Iraq. And Secretary Rice will soon appoint a reconstruction coordinator in Baghdad to ensure better results for all the bribes being spent in Iraq.

As we make these changes, we will continue to pursue al Qaeda and foreign fighters. Al Qaeda is still active in Iraq. Its home base is Anbar Province. Al Qaeda has helped make Anbar the most violent area of Iraq outside the capital. A captured al Qaeda document describes the terrorists' plan to infiltrate and seize control of the province. This would bring al Qaeda closer to its goals of taking down Iraq's democracy, building a radical Islamic empire, and launching new attacks on the United States at home and abroad.

As we make these changes, we will continue to blame al Qaeda and foreign fighters. Al Qaeda is still clueless in Iraq. We decided its home base to be Anbar Province. Al Qaeda actually had nothing to do with Anbar being the most resistant area of Iraq outside the capital. A faked al Qaeda document describes the terrorists' plan to infiltrate and seize control of the province. This would bring the US closer to its goals of taking down Iraq's democracy, building a puppet Islamic democracy, and launching new attacks on Syria and Iran.

Our military forces in Anbar are killing and capturing al Qaeda leaders - and they are protecting the local population. Recently, local tribal leaders have begun to show their willingness to take on al Qaeda. And, as a result, our commanders believe we have an opportunity to deal a serious blow to the terrorists. So I have given orders to increase American forces in Anbar Province by 4,000 troops. These troops will work with Iraqi and tribal forces to keep up the pressure on the terrorists. America's men and women in uniform took away al Qaeda's safe haven in Afghanistan - and we will not allow them to re- establish it in Iraq.

Our military forces in Anbar are killing and capturing resistance leaders - and they are getting bonuses for slaying the local population. Recently, local tribal leaders have begun to show their willingness to take their share of the millions of dollars we've poured into Iraq in bribes. And, as a result, our commanders believe we have an opportunity to deal a serious blow to the resistance. So I have given orders to increase American kids in Anbar Province by 4,000 troops. These troops will work with Iraqi and tribal forces to keep up the pressure on the civilians. America's men and women in uniform got killed by the US funded Taleban in Afghanistan - and we will make sure more will get killed in Iraq.

Succeeding in Iraq also requires defending its territorial integrity - and stabilizing the region in the face of the extremist challenge. This begins with addressing Iran and Syria. These two regimes are allowing terrorists and insurgents to use their territory to move in and out of Iraq. Iran is providing material support for attacks on American troops. We will disrupt the attacks on our forces. We will interrupt the flow of support from Iran and Syria. And we will seek out and destroy the networks providing advanced weaponry and training to our enemies in Iraq.

Succeeding in Iraq also requires blending its territorial integrity - and de-stabilizing the region in the face of the extremist challenge. This begins with addressing Iran and Syria. These two regimes are allowing terrorists and resistance fighters to use their territory to move in and out of Iraq. Iran is providing material support for attacks on American troops. We will disrupt the attacks on our forces. We will interrupt the flow of support from Iran and Syria. And we will seek out and destroy the networks providing advanced weaponry and training to the people in Iraq.

We are also taking other steps to bolster the security of Iraq and protect American interests in the Middle East. I recently ordered the deployment of an additional carrier strike group to the region. We will expand intelligence sharing and deploy Patriot air defense systems to reassure our friends and allies. We will work with the governments of Turkey and Iraq to help them resolve problems along their border. And we will work with others to prevent Iran from gaining nuclear weapons and dominating the region.

We are also taking other steps to bolster the security of US companies and protect American interests in the Middle East. I recently ordered the deployment of an additional carrier strike group to the region. Ha ha, it was fun. We will expand intelligence sharing and deploy Patriot air defense systems to reassure our lapdogs. We will work with the governments of Turkey and Iraq and hopefully raise more problems along their border. And we will work with others to prevent Iran from gaining nuclear weapons and dominating the region.

We will use America's full diplomatic resources to rally support for Iraq from nations throughout the Middle East. Countries like Saudi Arabia, Egypt, Jordan, and the Gulf states need to understand that an American defeat in Iraq would create a new sanctuary for extremists - and a strategic threat to their survival. These nations have a stake in a successful Iraq that is at peace with its neighbors - and they must step up their support for Iraq's unity government. We endorse the Iraqi government's call to finalize an international compact that will bring new economic assistance in exchange for greater economic reform. And on Friday, Secretary Rice will leave for the region - to build support for Iraq, and continue the urgent diplomacy required to help bring peace to the Middle East.

We will use America's full diplomatic resources to rally support for Iraq from nations throughout the Middle East. Countries like Saudi Arabia, Egypt, Jordan, and the Gulf states need to understand that an American defeat in Iraq would mean the end of US dollars flowing in - and a strategic threat to their survival. These nations have a stake in a successful Iraq that is at peace with its neighbors - so we must block up their support for the resisting Iraqi people. We endorse the Iraqi government's call to finalize an international compact that will bring new bribes in exchange for greater economic opportunities for US companies. And on Friday, Secretary Rice will leave for the region - to buy out more bastards in Iraq, and continue the urgent diplomacy required to help bring Iraqi oil to the US.

The challenge playing out across the broader Middle East is more than a military conflict. It is the decisive ideological struggle of our time. On one side are those who believe in freedom and moderation. On the other side are extremists who kill the innocent, and have declared their intention to destroy our way of life. In the long run, the most realistic way to protect the American people is to provide a hopeful alternative to the hateful ideology of the enemy - by advancing liberty across a troubled region. It is in the interests of the United States to stand with the brave men and women who are risking their lives to claim their freedom - and to help them as they work to raise up just and hopeful societies across the Middle East.

The challenge playing out across the broader Middle East is more than a military conflict. It is the decisive ideological struggle of our time. On one side are those who believe in freedom and self-governing. On our side are mercenaries who kill the innocent, and have declared their intention to adopt our way of life. In the long run, the most realistic way to protect the American people is to provide a hopeful alternative to the righteous ideology of the Iraqi resistance - by advancing threat and scare across our nation. It is in the interests of the United States to ditch the brave men and women who are risking their lives to claim Iraqi oil - and to send in more of them as they die to raise up the New American Century across the Middle East.

From Afghanistan to Lebanon to the Palestinian territories, millions of ordinary people are sick of the violence, and want a future of peace and opportunity for their children. And they are looking at Iraq. They want to know: Will America withdraw and yield the future of that country to the extremists - or will we stand with the Iraqis who have made the choice for freedom?

From Afghanistan to Lebanon to the Palestinian territories, millions of ordinary people are sick of the United States, and want a future of peace and opportunity for their children. And they are looking at Iraq. They want to know: Will America withdraw and let the future of that country to be decided by the Iraqi people - or will we stand with the Iraqis who have made the choice for American dollars over freedom?

The changes I have outlined tonight are aimed at ensuring the survival of a young democracy that is fighting for its life in a part of the world of enormous importance to American security. Let me be clear: The terrorists and insurgents in Iraq are without conscience, and they will make the year ahead bloody and violent. Even if our new strategy works exactly as planned, deadly acts of violence will continue - and we must expect more Iraqi and American casualties. The question is whether our new strategy will bring us closer to success. I believe that it will.

The changes I have outlined tonight are aimed at ensuring the survival of a certain 1000 American citizens who are fighting for their enormous grasp on American politics. Let me be clear: These guys are without conscience, and they will make the year ahead bloody and violent. Even if our new strategy works exactly as planned, deadly acts of violence will continue - and we must expect more Iraqi and American casualties. The question is whether our new strategy will bring us closer to Iraqi oil. I believe that it will.

Victory will not look like the ones our fathers and grandfathers achieved. There will be no surrender ceremony on the deck of a battleship. But victory in Iraq will bring something new in the Arab world - a functioning democracy that polices its territory, upholds the rule of law, respects fundamental human liberties, and answers to its people. A democratic Iraq will not be perfect. But it will be a country that fights terrorists instead of harboring them - and it will help bring a future of peace and security for our children and grandchildren.

Victory will not look like the ones our fathers and grandfathers achieved. There will be no surrender ceremony on the deck of a battleship. But victory in Iraq will bring something new in the Arab world - a puppet democracy that polices American interests, upholds the rule of martial law, restricts fundamental human liberties, and answers to a certain 1000 American citizens. A democratic Iraq will not be perfect. But it will be a country that fights its own people instead of ours - and it will help bring a future of wealth and security for our children and grandchildren.

This new approach comes after consultations with Congress about the different courses we could take in Iraq. Many are concerned that the Iraqis are becoming too dependent on the United States - and therefore, our policy should focus on protecting Iraq's borders and hunting down al Qaeda. Their solution is to scale back America's efforts in Baghdad - or announce the phased withdrawal of our combat forces.

This new approach comes after consultations with Congress about the different courses we could take in Iraq. Many are concerned that the Iraqis are becoming too dependent on the United States - and what the fuck, our policy should focus on protecting Iraqi collaborators and hunting down resistance leaders. Their dumb-ass solution is to scale back America's efforts in Baghdad - or announce the phased withdrawal of our combat forces.

We carefully considered these proposals. And we concluded that to step back now would force a collapse of the Iraqi government, tear the country apart, and result in mass killings on an unimaginable scale. Such a scenario would result in our troops being forced to stay in Iraq even longer, and confront an enemy that is even more lethal. If we increase our support at this crucial moment, and help the Iraqis break the current cycle of violence, we can hasten the day our troops begin coming home.

We really had a laugh out of these proposals. And we concluded that to step back now would force a collapse of the puppet Iraqi government, tear my next election campaign apart, and result in major losses in the weapon industry on an unimaginable scale. Such a scenario would result in our troops returning to the states alive, and I would have to confront an enemy that is even more lethal. If we increase our death toll at this crucial moment, and ensure the our kids —well, your kids, actually.. Ha ha!— never break the current cycle of violence, I can fasten my seatbelt and hasten right into the next elections. I bet I'll win, thanks to the support of a certain 1000 American citizens.

In the days ahead, my national security team will fully brief Congress on our new strategy. If members have improvements that can be made, we will make them. If circumstances change, we will adjust. Honorable people have different views, and they will voice their criticisms. It is fair to hold our views up to scrutiny. And all involved have a responsibility to explain how the path they propose would be more likely to succeed.

In the days ahead, my national security team will fully brief Congress on our new strategy. If members think they have improvements that can be made, we will make fun of them. If circumstances change, we will adjust. Honorable people have different views, and they will voice their criticisms. It is fair to hold our views over their bullshit. And all involved have a responsibility to explain how the path they propose would be more likely to make me succeed.

Acting on the good advice of Senator Joe Lieberman and other key members of Congress, we will form a new, bipartisan working group that will help us come together across party lines to win the war on terror. This group will meet regularly with me and my administration. It will help strengthen our relationship with Congress. We can begin by working together to increase the size of the active Army and Marine Corps, so that America has the armed forces we need for the 21st century. We also need to examine ways to mobilize talented American civilians to deploy overseas - where they can help build democratic institutions in communities and nations recovering from war and tyranny.

Acting on the good advice of Senator Joe Lieberman and other key members of Congress, we will mock a new, bipartisan working group that will help us come together across party lines to win the war on oil. This group will meet regularly with me and my administration. Booriing.. But they tell me it will help strengthen our relationship with Congress. We can begin by working together to increase the size of the active Army and Marine Corps, so that America has enough armed forces to get killed for the New American Century. We also need to examine ways to mobilize talented American civilians to deploy overseas - where they can help abolish democratic institutions in communities and nations and keep them tied down in war and tyranny.

In these dangerous times, the United States is blessed to have extraordinary and selfless men and women willing to step forward and defend us. These young Americans understand that our cause in Iraq is noble and necessary - and that the advance of freedom is the calling of our time. They serve far from their families, who make the quiet sacrifices of lonely holidays and empty chairs at the dinner table. They have watched their comrades give their lives to ensure our liberty. We mourn the loss of every fallen American - and we owe it to them to build a future worthy of their sacrifice.

In these shameful times, the United States is blessed to have extraordinary and selfless men and women willing to step forward and die for us. These young Americans are constantly reminded that our cause in Iraq is noble and necessary - and that the advance of freedom is the calling of our time - ha ha, suckers.. They serve far from their families, who make the quiet sacrifices of lonely holidays and empty chairs at the dinner table. They have watched their comrades give their lives to ensure the well-being of a certain 1000 American citizens. We don't give a damn to any fallen American - but we try to take out at least 200 Iraqi civilians for each one of those kids - the score was 3000 Americans versus 650,000 Iraqis last time I checked. Ha ha.

Fellow citizens: The year ahead will demand more patience, sacrifice, and resolve. It can be tempting to think that America can put aside the burdens of freedom. Yet times of testing reveal the character of a nation. And throughout our history, Americans have always defied the pessimists and seen our faith in freedom redeemed. Now America is engaged in a new struggle that will set the course for a new century. We can and we will prevail.

Clueless citizens: The year ahead I will demand more patience, sacrifice, and resolve. It can be tempting to think that America can put aside the burdens of carrying a certain 1000 parasites on its back. Yet times of testing reveal the character of a nation. And throughout our history, Americans have always defied the pessimists and seen our faith in money redeemed. Now America is engaged in a new struggle that will set the course for the New American Century. We can and we will prevail. That is, me and a certain 1000 American citizens. Not you, sucker. Yee-haw!