The World is Mine

Every relationship is based on selfishness..

It sounds pessimistic when I say it, but it's put brilliantly on RoadSlave:
It's amazing how we let our relationships just fade because we are unwilling to sacrifice.

Could anyone argue they've fared any better?

I'm far from social. I have so few relationships still alive, and I can't say I really try to grow my circle. I've always been comfortable with being-on-your-own.

The good thing about having few friends, is that you can give your best attention to them, do everything you can when they are in need. I used to think of meself as stable and countable. Until I read:
That's all this is anyway, this life, it's relationships.
Talking about them, living them, trying to have them, maintaining them, longing for them.
As individuals we cannot survive or be happy without them. This is what really matters. Yet, we are narcissists and cannot see beyond our own desires, our own fears.
We are locked inside ourselves and are constantly screaming to get out.

We want someone to know us in a way that we can no longer hide and still we are afraid of judgment, failure, unreciprocated feelings, reciprocated feelings and commitment (and I'm sure a whole laundry list of others).

Shattering my integrity.

Reminding me of many calls I've never returned, many emails I've never replied.

Giving is one of the best things you can do in this life.

There's a catch, though, in my humble opinion. Don't be too patient. Don't spend five years of your giving on the same person. Make sure you are getting bits and pieces in return. Otherwise, I'd say it's better to give elsewhere.

Egocentric as I am.


whisper said...

Phew, I wasn't expecting that :) Really interesting indeed.
I'm not the overly social type, but I do have a bunch of very close friend. So the question would be : why ? Why do I need these relationships ?
Hey, I love them. I love to see them and make them happy. I love offering them presents and listening to their stories. And of course I love every thing they have to give to me. Is the point of a relationship is to feel loved and cared for ?
Funny. It's like Roadslave onsiders relationships as a "bad" thing. But I don't agree with this : "Yet, we are narcissists and cannot see beyond our own desires, our own fears."

Citygirl said...

Whisper, you need to re-read my post. It is in favor of relationships, cultivating them and working on them and creating them. Too often we are too self-involved and have such myopic views of everything that we neglect any and all relationships.