Cherry earrings

I just talked to my ex-wife on the phone.

I always hated the "ex-" notion. It sounds so cliche, so shallow, so ego-centric, and utterly stupid. But I just don't know how else to call her. My old wife? It's not like she's 75. My previous wife? Nah, that sounds like I'm on a series. Same with "my first wife," or "my last wife". Which are technically true, but not really more sensible than the "ex-" version. I guess, well, she is my ex-wife after all.

She just called to let me know she'll come in tomorrow to pick her things up. The various bits that were still here, that is. I'll be at work, so I'll just leave the keys at the grocer's, she's left her set at her parent's. That feels strange, she has to get the keys from the grocery guy to let herself in now. Well, life.. You can never bathe in the same river twice.

She sounded happy. That makes me happy. Well that too sounded too cliche, but I didn't mean it that way. I'm feeling more relaxed, more easy, more comfortable, and eventually more happy since we divorced. And that kind of made me feel guilty. Now that I know she's also happier, I'm happy without feeling bad.

I had really loved her. I guess I still do, but not as I used to. I don't mean less, I mean, well, different. As an old close friend, perhaps? I don't know. Just not the same. We both suffered a lot. We used to drive each other mad at times, literally. Well, most of the time, lately. It feels much more "right" this way.

Why am I writing this? I don't know. Just in case I post some more lyrics, so be warned, I think I'll go get some more beer.

Experience is everything.

Listening to (five?)

Well, you've been warned..

Siempre que te pregunto
Que, cuándo, cómo y dónde
Tú siempre me respondes
Quizás, quizás, quizás

Y así pasan los días
Y yo, desesperando
Y tú, tú contestando
Quizás, quizás, quizás

Estás perdiendo el tiempo
Pensando, pensando
Por lo que tú más quieras
¿Hasta cuándo?
¿Hasta cuándo?

Y así pasan los días
Y yo, desesperando
Y tú, tú contestando
Quizás, quizás, quizás

Y así pasan los días
Y yo, desesperando
Y tú, tú contestando
Quizás, quizás, quizás

Estás perdiendo el tiempo
Pensando, pensando
Por lo que más tú quieras
¿Hasta cuándo?
¿Hasta cuándo?

Y así pasan los días
Y yo, desesperando
Y tú, tú contestando
Quizás, quizás, quizás

And here's my shot at a translation..

I am always asking you
When, how and where
You always tell me
Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps

The days pass this way
And I am despairing
And you, you always answer
Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps

You are wasting time
Thinking, thinking
That which you want most
Until when?
Until when?

The days pass this way
And I am despairing
And you, you always answer
Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps

The days pass this way
And I am despairing
And you, you always answer
Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps

You are wasting time
Thinking, thinking
That which you want most
Until when?
Until when?

The days pass this way
And I am despairing
And you, you always answer
Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps

Do you believe in free will?

The blogosphere works in strange ways.

I just landed on Vanishing Zero while I was blog hopping. The post about free will and determinism was interesting, but I didn't get it all, for it linked to this blog post by Scott Adams, and this New York Times article. So I ended up reading those as well. Then I came back to Vanishing Zero, thought for a bit, and posted a comment.

Midway, I realized that this would be too long of a comment, so I tried to be as brief as I could (didn't work much, but anyway). Here's what I wrote there:

I agree machines can never be conscious. Even if they were programmed to do so, they'd still be running the program, or at most morphing the program and running new spawns of it. But they'd still be just following the commands.

But I also [agree] with parts of the NYT story that says free will is an illusion. I think it's just a matter of levels and complexity.

Do ants have free will? From our perspective, no. Their world just consist[s] of terrains, food, enemies, and other ants. They just follow their instincts and react to certain chemical compounds.

But from their point of view, they are adventuring, talking to each other, waging war, serving their queen, etc.

I'm not sure if I could explain what I meant, but that's as far as my linguistic skills go.

Basically, I think we do have free will when we look from our own perspective. But looking from one level of intelligence and complexity above us (be it God and angels, or some alien species), we are just following the commands built in us, just like we think (know) the ants do.

That was long, but I didn't know how to say it shorter.

I could write more, but I feel like thinking a bit more about it before I do.

What do you think? Are our actions all pre-determined by the universe, or do we have a say?

The free press and bringing democracy

Please do me a favor, and try to remember the tone of the CNN and BBC announcing the execution of Saddam, breaking-news style. Come on, it was just a few days ago. Here, I'll help you:

"He was terrified, broken.."

"Helpless at the noose.."

"Democracy wins.."

"Beginning of a new era.."

Remember? And just look at how things turned now. Everyone's trying to back out and blame someone else for the inhuman lynching that really was.

This is a more recent take from the CNN:

U.S. officials reportedly tried to delay last week's execution of Hussein, fearing it would fuel perceptions the death of the former Iraqi dictator was more about Shiite retribution and less about justice. It was a caution that fell on deaf ears, however, as Prime Minister al-Maliki, a Shiite, was determined to put Hussein to death before the beginning of the Eid al-Adha holiday.

Now that's very convincing, how thoughtful of the US.

This is the Iraqi puppet PM Maliki speaking, after the execution:

Asked whether he would accept a second term in office, Mr Maliki replied: "Impossible.

"I wish I could be done with it even before the end of this term. I would like to serve my people from outside the circle of senior officials, maybe through the parliament or through working directly with the people," he said.

"I didn’t want to take this position. I only agreed because I thought it would serve the national interest, and I will not accept it again."

Sounds like a tough guy, eh? Can anyone believe the crap that this poor man had enough guts to put Saddam to death, despite US interception (according to the CNN story), and at the eve of a religious holiday?

Bullshit.. Saddam was not executed, he was silenced. And in the most "inelegant" way. And clearly by the US warlords, not by some PM-wannabe (or don't-wannabe, even). If you're wondering what Saddam could have told the world hadn't he been "dealt with" in such haste, you might find clues at a previous post. (and here's a post that covers the "execution" itself)

And if I may, I'd recommend another great post, by River:

.
.
America the savior… After nearly four years and Bush's biggest achievement in Iraq has been a lynching. Bravo Americans.
.
.
And no- not the celebrations BBC are claiming. With the exception of a few areas, the streets are empty.
.
.
Muwafaq Al Rubai was said he was "weak and frightened". Apparently, Rubai saw a different lynching because according to the video they leaked, he didn't look frightened at all. His voice didn't shake and he refused to put on the black hood. He looked resigned to his fate, and during the heckling he looked as defiant as ever. (It's quite a contrast to Muhsin Abdul Hameed's public hysterics last year when the Americans raided his home.)
.
.

There are already some concerned voices in some European countries. What's the big news? The Yankees just screwed up —again..

Mind like water

I think I'm sober now..

I read the Getting Things Done book (manifest?) from David Allen in the past couple days (yeah, while sobering up). I had read quite a number of good (and passionate) reviews of the GTD system for some time now. I usually just smirk at such buzzy trends, especially if it's some kind of self help development all is well theme. But I had nothing better do, and decided to give it a try.

So I downloaded a pdf of the book and began reading it. But that's piracy, well, yes it is. But there's no way I'd give money for some book when I have hardly the money for smokes and food. And, by the way, especially not to some greedy robber.

Right, that's in direct reference to David Allen himself. Just for goodness sake, check out the "features" of his marvelous "digital 2 minutes timer" software:

How long is 2 minutes? Most people had no idea, until now. With this digital timer installed on your computer just a keystroke away...

This miraculous piece of software is available for purchase at David's site for $10. I mean, come on.. Does he really need the 10 bucks from that crap so badly?

Anyways, I read the book, and to my surprise, it wasn't all that bad. I liked a few tricks he suggests, actually, and I think I'm going to try them out for a while at work and elsewhere. It might be a good way to recollect my pieces.

Not to reach a higher state of mind, though, or a "mind like water." Just to get things done, hopefully. I got tons of stuff to take care of, and I can't get meself to actually do anything. And my mind is like water already, any way. Probably more like the muddy waters of the Wishkah, but.. Well..

I'm listening to (4)

Realizing that I just posted a sad, sad song as the first post for a new year, here's my attempt to fix it. I'm listening to a less sad song now, not exactly what you might call "happy", but hey, it's at least one you can dance to.

And for those of you who might wonder, yup, I'm still drunk.. Actually, I just noticed that I post lyrics only when I'm drunk. Hmm..

I am the passenger
And I ride and I ride
I ride through the city's backsides
I see the stars come out of the sky
Yeah, the bright and hollow sky
You know it looks so good tonight

I am the passenger
I stay under glass
I look through my window so bright
I see the stars come out tonight
I see the bright and hollow sky
Over the city's ripped backsides
And everything looks good tonight

Singing la la la la la lala la,
La la la la la lala la,
La la la la la lala la, lala..

Get into the car
We'll be the passenger
We'll ride through the city tonight
We'll see the city's ripped backsides
We'll see the bright and hollow sky
We'll see the stars that shine so bright
The stars made for us tonight

Oh, the passenger
How, how he rides
Oh, the passenger
He rides and he rides
He looks through his window
What does he see?
He sees the sign and hollow sky
He sees the stars come out tonight
He sees the city's ripped backsides
He sees the winding ocean drive
And everything was made for you and me
All of it was made for you and me
'Cause it just belongs to you and me
So let's take a ride and see what's mine

Singing la la la la la lala la,
La la la la la lala la,
La la la la la lala la, lala..

Oh the passenger
He rides and he rides
He sees things from under glass
He looks through his window side
He sees the things that he knows are his
He sees the bright and hollow sky
He sees the city sleep at night
He sees the stars are out tonight
And all of it is yours and mine
And all of it is yours and mine
So let's ride and ride and ride and ride

Singing la la la la la lala la,
La la la la la lala la,
La la la la la lala la, lala..

Happy new year

Watch the early morning sun
Drip like blood from the day
See the crazy people run
So many games to play
See the blue suburban dream
Under the jet plane sky
Sleep away and dream a dream
Life is just a lullaby

And everything will flow
You know everything will flow

Watch the day begin again
Whispering into the night
See the crazy people play
Hurrying under the light
A million cars, a million trains
Under the jet plane sky
Nothing lost and nothing gained
Life is just a lullaby

The neon lights in the night tonight will say
Everything will flow
The stars that shine in the open sky will say
Everything will flow
The lovers kissed with an openness will say
Everything will flow
The cars parked in the hypermarket know
Everything will flow

Happy new year, everyone.. I hope everything flows nicely for you.